Part of the issue in your relationship/marriage is that you're trying to make your mate just like you. You're frustrated because they don't automatically take the lead on things. You're upset because they don't clean up like you, stay on time like you, and have the same perspective on things like you. Sorry, that person is not you and God didn't create them to be. There should always be a common set of values and beliefs, but in order to keep your sanity, you're going to have to stop trying to change them as if your way is the only right way to do things. Pull back and pray. You'll discover through prayer that it may not be them who needs to change. God bless!
